Katie

the house next door to me is something of a curiosity. it's a decent-sized house, but looks like an absolute dump. the windows are busted in, there's broken glass and cardboard boxes and car parts and random shit everywhere to the point where the house looks unlivable. but one old man did live there, in a small room upstairs, while the rest of the house sat in ruin around him. jason, being the sweet and curious soul that he is, had made friends with the man (mark) over the course of the eight years he's lived in this apartment.

yesterday, i woke up to the sound of police and ambulance sirens RIGHTOUTSIDEMYDOOR. turns out, mark hadn't shown up for work and wouldn't answer the phone and his employer got worried and called the police. and wouldn't you know it, mark passed away. when i got home from soccer last night, the light was still on in the upstairs room, and i really, really wanted to climb through all the rubble and just turn it off.

and then, i get a facebook message from a friend's mom letting me know that my friend's dad died last night. she's 20. i can't even imagine that. she didn't have a good relationship with her dad, from what i know, but sometimes that makes it even worse. i'm organizing buying flowers with our group of friends to show our support, because when these things happen, i get so overwhelmed that i just need to do something.

several exciting things:

- my parents are getting me and jason bonnaroo VIP tickets for christmas. my mom was really cute about it. one of her questions when we were talking about it was, "now, who is bonnaroo?" which i thought was the most adorable thing on the planet. jason and i are pretty much the most excited we could be. i don't even care who headlines (ok yes maybe i do), i just want to go be lost for a few days.

- my craft fair went GREAT. seriously, it was so much fun. i had a much better stock and setup this time, and it really served me well. also, i did a couple trades with other artists vending there and got a really gorgeous screen printed tree hoodie and an INCREDIBLE ring made of silver and spectrolite, which is labradorite's equally hot sibling. it makes me very happy.

- jason and i are going to spend new year's eve in oklahoma city watching the flaming lips in their hometown. you should come. it's going to rule.

- i finished my extra contract for work, which was actually sort of sad. i'm hoping they will call me back when they get another contract that requires massive amounts of content and testing. i really have the best job(s) on the planet. freelancing, for the win!

- my dad got a job after being out of work for half a year. my dad has only taken sick time once as long as i can remember, and that was because he had his hip replaced. i miss my parents so much, but i did have a nice long email talk with my mom tonight, good stuff all around.

- my ears are healing brilliantly from their scalpel adventure. now i get to see how they change over the next few weeks/months. hoping i'll be happy with the results.

OK ENOUGH. my life rules right now, what else can be said? :D

i'm having dinner with splatterhouse tonight. you're pretty jealous.

it must be awful for poor paul mccartney, to go onstage and sing songs for dead wives that he wrote with dead friends and relive those devastating moments during the happiest two and a half hours in the lives of 90,000 people.

i guess that is why he makes $20k an hour. but seriously, that is a concert i will never forget.

as some of you may recall, the boy had a knee injury that required surgery, and he incurred this injury right before we went to bonnaroo. his doctor wouldn't give him a handicapped permit for close camping at the festival so he didn't have to hobble long distances. i mentioned this on the bonnaroo forum, and a very kind lady came out of the woodwork to offer to take us as her companion vehicle so the boy could keep the walking to a minimum. this wonderful lady was a breast cancer survivor, mother of two, and flat-out cool chick. she writes a blog called after cancer, now what?

she just entered a essay contest on a breast cancer society website, and has been picked one of the 40 semi-finalists. her essay:

[I was diagnosed three years ago with breast cancer at age 38. I'm doing great now and in order to help others who have had cancer I've developed my blog www.aftercancernowwhat.com The blog deals with research, treatment and survivorship issues. $1,000 dollars would allow me to buy a laptop and install a wireless router in my home. That way I could continue my work and my husband and kids would have access to the family computer we all use. I'd be able to meet with a consultant to add either a chat room or a message board where survivors could share both stories and advice.I'd also be able to attend a couple of additional conferences so that I can keep my readers and subscribers up to date on current research, treatment and advice for survivors. No one should have to go through cancer alone and even when treatment is over survivors need support too. Award me the $1,000 dollars and let me make sure that they get the support they need.]

in short: PLEASE vote for her! click on that link and vote for katherine b from north carolina. you can vote once per day. this is my chance to help pay her back for her random act of kindness to me. i'd appreciate your help. :)

i just saw a commercial for a reality dating show called "more to love" which features non-model thin women competing for the love of a successful 300+ pound man. the marketing for it is infuriating, notably for its propensity to describe these ladies as "real" women.

we are not our weight. being a size 16 doesn't make you a "real" woman, nor does being a size 2. i'd love to see fat acceptance creep into our society, but this isn't the way to do it. you don't have to tear other women down by insinuating they're inauthentic due to their size. this goes for both sides of the issue. i know i wouldn't want someone saying i'm not a real woman because i'm big, and i don't want other people to feel invalid based on their size like i have so many times in my life. the media has set up this framework of anorexic-thin women being the norm, and now they're trying to flip on that and make those women feel bad about themselves because they're not "real." it's disgusting.

the shell doesn't matter. we are who we are, not what size we wear. any time you hang up your identity in your looks, you fail. this shit has to stop.

did you REALLY just accuse me of that?

i want to choreograph a ballet to the decemberists' album, "the hazards of love." i can feel it in my bones. i see it in my mind's eye. it's inside me and needs to get out. oh, to have the courage.

noteworthy points in my life right now:

- i was sort of "promoted" at work and will shortly be making significantly more money than i currently am. i'll be doing more work, but i still don't have to go into the office at all and i will be writing more fun games in addition to what i've already been doing. i really love my job and i'm excited to be able to sustain myself doing it.

- roles i am playing in the laramie project: romaine patterson, rebecca hilliker, leigh fondakowski, jen, russell henderson's mormon home teacher, a newsperson or two, and a narrator or two. i'm having a lot of fun being in rehearsal. it's incredible to be acting again. i get giddy just thinking about it.

- in jason news: it was definitely his acl. he has surgery scheduled for june 10, only so far away because we're going to bonnaroo june 30-14. the upside to this is that we'll be able to utilize handicapped camping at 'roo because his knee is so effed up.

- trip home to boston: tentatively planned for the end of august-ish. it's far away enough from j's surgery that we can (carefully) go to the quarry to swim and get to nyc to visit mikey and peggy and kenny.

( i will end this with cute pictures of two of the cats. )

pretty sure jason tore the acl in his good leg tonight at soccer. he's torn his acl before and said it feels exactly the same as the first time he did it and needed surgery. he is going to the doctor tomorrow, wouldn't go to the emergency room because he said they won't be able to do anything. fair enough. i'm helping him as much as i can. rides around, kisses, and lots of beer seem to be doing the trick for right this second. he seems to be pretty certain he'll need surgery and be out of soccer for a year. i think that i'm more upset about it than he is at this point, or at least i'm more upset than he's pretending to be. for him, soccer is life. it's in his blood, in his body, in his nature. to be out for so long is torture. it's a deep, physical and emotional pain that can only be fixed with knives and time. it's not the end of the world, but it's a painful blow, and i will do my best to be a pillar of strength.

from the bottom of my heart, i don't ever again want to hear someone scream with the same "oh, fuck, i know what this is" pain i heard from my lover's mouth tonight.

here's a little update for you kind folks of lj-land.

i got my auditioning shoes back on for the first time in two years to try and get into a play for the first time in nearly four years. it worked. i am in "the laramie project" at a college near my apartment in dallas. this will be my second time doing the show. the first was my sophomore year at MCLA, so it's kind of fitting. i've been told two of my parts (the show is double cast, each actor plays several parts), and they're awesome. as in, one of said two is the part i wanted (and who has the best moment of the show, imo). the director said i will most likely have more than those two, but he hasn't fully cast it yet. i start rehearsal a week from monday. i'm being vague about it because it hasn't been "officially" announced and i don't want to say anything publicly until it has been. when it's been released, i'll sing it from the rooftops.

i also have a job interview on thursday, for a really great-paying job also near my apartment. fingers crossed for this one, i've been working from home for over a year now and while it's easy and fun and awesome, i need more money if i ever want to be a real, functioning adult who can afford to, you know, replace things when they break. it's a 9-5er, but it's in a field i'm interested in, and one that would utilize my arts degree. fancy that.

and next weekend is my first craft fair ever, where i'll be vending goods from my etsy. i've got a nice little stockpile of items, including a lot of stuff i haven't listed in my etsy yet because, well, it's time consuming and i need to be spending these last moments creating.

for the first time in a year, i feel like i'm forging my own path. i definitely needed the past year to adjust and fuck up and learn and change, and it's brought me to a good place. dare i say... i'm happy.

in case any of you have been wondering where i've been... my computer died and i had to use jason's computer for work and stuff. now i have a pretty new macbook, courtesy of the lucky sperm club (my awesome parents). neato.

i saw morrissey tonight. i thought it was going to be awesome, but it really wasn't for me. i understand this makes me the lamest person ever. everyone i went with thought he was the sexiest thing to ever exist, but i just thought he looked like jay leno. he only played two songs i knew, and his set was just around an hour with encore. i sort of want my $50 back.

sometimes, i'm so fucking sick of hearing excuses for shitty behavior that i want to get in my car and drive away until i drop off the face of the earth.

sorry if you've seen this a zillion times, can't resist the urge to post everywhere.

this is my nose now.



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i just bought my ticket for bonnaroo. anyone else going? the lineup is pretty kickass, and i'm excited as this will be my first festival ever. hard to believe, but better late than never. i plan on having a rip-roaring good time.

jason's mom got me (among other things) a blue snuggie for christmas. it hasn't come in the mail yet, but you can BET there will be pictures when it does. who needs clothes when you have a blanket you can wear?

goodbyes suck.

as much as i love travel and exploration, i hate leaving parts of myself across the country. i am half here, half there.

to those of you who have interned/worked at bsc:

what's the general experience like? do you enjoy it? what kind of hours would an intern be expected to work (in general, but specifically to the stage management internship, if possible)? was it helpful to your career to work there?

this is not for me. i have a friend who i worked with in boston who's a freshman in college now who is looking at an internship and is interested in bsc. she's worked in several theaters in boston in a ton of different capacities. she was an incredibly valuable asset at all of them and is wise beyond her years. she asked me if i knew anything about bsc, and i realized i know a shit ton of people who have worked there and might be able to help her get some info.

mexico and south texas were great. i have definitely been bitten by the travel bug. i think jason and i are planning on going north for the next trip. i am pushing for either the grand canyon or seattle or just a general tour of the northwest. i don't think he has a problem with this. but, of course, my next trip is back home to boston, where i shall be from december 21 to january 4. kind of awesome.

there are about a billion pictures under the cut, beware!

( mexico, san antonio, and austin. )